Passing Hospital Worker: When am I going to see you in a tux?
Guy Sitting Outside Elevator: You’ll see me in a tux when they’re ready to put me in the ground. But you won’t be able to see me because of the tears in your eyes!

Regions Hospital in Minneapolis
Overheard by A guy in a tux.

Woman #1: So, what are her hobbies?
Woman #2: I dunno… getting drunk and not taking care of her kid.
Woman #1: Well, does she like scrapbooks or anything?
Woman #2: Oh please! She doesn’t have enough brain power to make a scrapbook.

Target in Nicollet Mall
Overheard by You are buying her a Christmas Present, WHY?

Young Professional to another: You know you can never be friends after you put it in your mouth.

Downtown Skyway System
Overheard by GreasyMittens.

Old lady: I need to buy a roll of quarters. How much does that cost?
Teller: Ten dollars.
Old lady: And how many quarters is that?
Teller: Um… [thinking for a while] 50, I think.
Old lady: Oh, that should be enough.

US Bank
Overheard by Finding a new bank.