Girl on cell phone: It’s not that I don’t want to get wasted. I want to get wasted. I just don’t want to get fucked up, you know? So I’m not really sure what to do.

Folwell Hall
Overheard by i have that dilemma often.

College Guy #1: My penis is getting stronger!
College Guy #2: What does that even mean?  How do you know?
College Guy #1: Cuz I can pee past the bushes now and for a while I couldn’t!
College Guy #2: Niiiice! (the two guys high five)

St Paul, Das Hus
Overheard by a.lil.

Bearded college guy: I almost saw a high school girl’s vagina today!

St. Paul, Das Hus
Overheard by a.lil.

Student presenting video about China in recent news: It’s tough being neighbors to China; you might actually die.

Minneapolis, The Art Institute

Happy little boy looking at dog collars: We should get a collar for our dog!!!
Kid’s dad, matter-of-factly: We don’t have a dog.

Coon Rapids, Old Navy
Overheard by poor kid.

Woman #1: Be careful…
Woman #2, whispering: Because it’s the Cities.

St. Paul, River Centre
Overheard by yes, be careful.

Bus driver: So far I haven’t killed anyone yet, knock on wood!

#4 Bus

Enthusiastic garage sale shopper (holding up socks): These are so CLEAN!  How you keep your socks so CLEAN?!?!
Sock seller: Largely by… not wearing them.

NE Minneapolis, garage sale
Overheard by It increases their value.

Young woman, to her husband, while slowly pushing her cart past Halloween “Domo” display: So, what is this thing supposed to be any ways?
Husband: (shrugs)
Wife: Well, it looks like a big ole piece of shit if you ask me!
Husband: Shhhhhh!
Wife: Well, seriously, what else could it be?  It’s a hunk of shit with a face!

Champlin, Super Target
Overheard by Looks like shit to me too!

Preston’s patron to her friend: What would Jesus do?  First of all, he’d be pissed that people are making “What Would Jesus Do” bracelets.

Minneapolis, Preston’s Urban Pub
Overheard by patrick.

Blonde girl, regarding lights flickering on and off:  Someone so needs to stop doing that. It’s annoying!
Coworker behind the counter: Umm, you’re leaning on the light switch.

Woodbury, Coffee shop
Overheard by coffee and a show.

Target Guy #1: Sarah Palin. Rowr!
Target Guy #2: Yes?
Target Guy #1: She’s hot!
Target Guy #2: Nah, she’s so stupid she’s ugly.
Target Guy #1: Oh. Yeah, you’re right.

Plymouth, SuperTarget
Overheard by i’m glad we clarified that.

Young Child Whining to Mother: Hey! This isn’t the moon!

Minneapolis, Downtown Target
Overheard by You’re going to want to take the first left.

Girl #1: So, I wore your underwear the other day.
Girl #2: Well, at least they were clean. I just washed them.

Minneapolis, Washington Ave Bridge
Overheard by mitch.

Teen Boy: Hey bud! Is it just me or did you grow some balls? Like, did your voice drop?
Younger Teen Boy: Ummm…
Teen Boy: I guess not.

Plymouth, Wayzata High School
Overheard by poor freshmen…

Big black guy sitting in the row behind me right after the preview for The Soloist: I didn’t know black guys could play the cello!

Minneapolis, Block E Movie theater
Overheard by give it a try sometime.

Guy #1: Yeah, I’m a bit busy this weekend though, so I wouldn’t put all my eggs in a basket. I don’t think I used that correctly. (laughs)
Guy #2: Did you mean two birds and a stone?
Guy #1: What? Oh yeah. I wouldn’t want to try to put all my eggs and two birds and a stone in my basket. I don’t think it’s big enough.

Minneapolis, Washington Ave. Bridge

Fashionable, ditzy young woman at cheese counter: A lot of girls cheat on their taxes because they just don’t know how to do them.

St. Paul, Whole Foods
Overheard by Dismayed feminist.

Girl #1: So, like, he lives in Cedar-Riverside.
Girl #2: (laughs) Oh my god! We’re going to go to his place? We’re so totally going to get shot and mugged!
Girl #1: (laughs louder) I know, right? We’re totally going to get mugged!

U of M
Overheard by getting mugged is totally the best?

College girl walking through student union: You would be amazed by what I can do with the English language.

St. Peter, Gustavus Student Union
Overheard by and what else can you do?