Weird guy #1: Can you think of any situation where it would be morally and ethically justified to eat a baby?
Weird guy #2: Is the baby already dead?

AP Stats class- Jefferson High School
Overheard by I hear the vegetarian babies taste better.

Female in bathroom at New Years party after a lot of noise and breaking glass: Ok, that happened for two reasons. One: there are too many people in the bathroom. And two: having only two bamboo shoots in a glass vase is just not feng shui.

Grand & 29th
Overheard by Why wasn’t I invited?

Civics teacher: Does anyone know who fought in the Hundred Years War?
Super smart kid: OOOH! France and England.
Civics teacher: That’s right.
Dumb girl: (raises her hand) Wait… that doesn’t make any sense. (aside to friend) Isn’t France in England?

Jefferson High School (Bloomington)
Overheard by Appalled honors student.

Male coworker talking about certain female coworkers: Man, they are so frigid I bet their periods come out in frozen cubes.

225 S. 6th St, Minneapolis, 12th floor
Overheard by Laughing so hard.

Really loud woman in the seat in front of me: Honey, what was the name of that 70s club? You know, the one with all the Saturday Night Live music?

New Year’s Day flight from Orlando to MSP
Overheard by sparklegirl.

Construction Worker on scaffolding, singing and drilling: I’m crazy…. I’m crazy for feeling so lonesome!

Ontario & Washington
Overheard by ORLY.

Pregnant woman talking to friend and pointing to small initial charms in a jewelry store: Wouldn’t this look cute on my clit ring? (later…) My doctor wanted me to take the ring out ’cause I’m pregnant and all but hell naw, I done spent $150 on this sh*t, I ain’t bout to take it out now!

Mall of America
Overheard by Amused Employee.

Girl walking into living room, ball is being dropped; clock says 11:59:22: What? There’s 11 more minutes left?!

cottage grove new year’s party
Overheard by so glad the public school system worked for me.