Twentysomething girl: I’ve been using “McGuyver” a lot as a verb recently.
Twentysomething guy: I McGuyvered your mom last night!
Twentysomething girl: So, you could only last a half hour and you had to periodically stop for commercial breaks?

Green Mill, Grand Ave
Overheard by So, that’s what you did with that paper clip, belt, and pound of bacon!

Thirty-year-old man on cell phone: When I’m talking to a girl, I’ll just ask her what she does for a living. And then if she says she’s still in school I can ask her what school she goes to, because if she says she’s still in high school that’s a red flag. I don’t like just asking how old people are. I just ask what they do for a living- I’m sneaky that way.

Bus #6
Overheard by Burrhead and Alco.

One hipster girl to another: And then you realized it was vomit everywhere.

Hennepin Ave
Overheard by oh goodness.

Female party goer: Damn, there’s, like, all walks of life at this party.
Male party goer #1: I can honestly say this looks, feels and smells like controlled danger.
Male party goer #2: Well, I did see a gang upstairs.

keg house party/5th ave and 82nd Bloomington,Mn.

60-something year old guy in office cube: Every time a Victoria’s Secret commercial came on last night I caught myself yawning. Does that mean I’m getting old?

Office building in St Paul
Overheard by Maybe there is a hidden meaning.

Thug #1: This outfit is tight, yo!
Thug #2: Word.
Thug #1: What?! You wearin’ yo white tee? You ain’t tell me that, son! Damn, I would have wore mines too!
Thug #2: Yup.
Thug #1: Hell this don’t even go. This buckle don’t go with this jacket. Yo, hold my spot. Ima go get my game tight.
Thug #2: Word.

Nordstrom Rack: MOA.
Overheard by Dude in tears at checkout.

Used to be skinny, senior girl: Ugh, I just hate all these freshmen who think they have such hot vaginas.

Carleton Party
Overheard by hot freshman.

Man #1: So, do you like small nipples or large ones?
Man #2: Depends…

Lake Calhoun southside
Overheard by tina.