Male customer to female employee: How much to put a ring on yo’ finger?
Employee: Uh, I’m not for sale.
Male customer: I know. I SAID, how much to get a ring on yo’ finger? (a little later) I need a chain this long (points to navel), my baby momma got me one like $400 but I lost it, she say I’m ungrateful… sh*t… I got, like, big rims outside in the lot, 400s.

Mall of America
Overheard by Oh I guess you can buy me NOW.

Male Coworker: What happened to the naked man book?
Female Coworker: I don’t know…
Male Coworker: I miss seeing those washboard abs every day.
Female Coworker: All you have to do is lift up your shirt.

225 S 6th St
Overheard by yes, we’d all like that now, wouldn’t we?!

White teenage boy #1: I’ve been bangin’ on the streets my whole life. Been a Crip for nearly 2 years and slangin at the mall for almost 4 years.
White teenage boy #2: Are you the one that be writin’ all them Crip tags up in here?
White teenage boy #1: No way, the mall used to be crip territory but we lost most of it in a big assed fight with the GD’s back in ‘03.
White teenage boy #2: There are really Crips and Bloods at the mall? I thought all them tags was just bitches frontin’.
White teenage boy #1: Ain’t no Bloods up in heah, we gots all the Mick D’s, and the Gangsta Disciples, gots all the BK’s and since the fight in ‘03, they also gots da whole food court, so I be layin’ low up in this!

Mall of America / near food court

Old female co-worker: …and she looks good, without her clothes on.

225 South 6th St.
Overheard by Not sure where that was going…

Ebullient coworker: Well, yeah, it’s not his fault he’s not multi-intelligent.

Cube farm, City Center
Overheard by sxoidmal.

College kid home for the holidays to his drunken friends: I think I’ll tell my parents before I go that I need counseling.

Packed uptown bar
Overheard by Hope they take it well!

Bus Driver referring to bus he was driving: Yeah, I keep thinking they’re going to take this one out of commission. I hate driving it and it’s on its last legs.

FV Shuttle
Overheard by Feeling Safe.

Girl #1: So they told me that I was really f*cked up, and I guess I tried to kill myself with some pills or something?
Girl #2: Yeah, you took a whole bunch of Percocet.
Girl #1: Really?

19th and Nicollet
Overheard by josie.

Mother: Yeah, maybe we would do that if your attitude wasn’t so poopy.
8-Year old Boy: Mom, you mean “shitty”. Why don’t you just say “shitty”?

Northtown Target
Overheard by ‘Bino.