50s-ish woman on airplane: None of my emails are sending. Do you have service up here?
Man sitting next to her: [loooooooong silence] No.

airplane from MSP to San Diego
Overheard by do you have any idea how far away from ground we are?

One co-worker to assorted others: I got so many, uh, I don’t know if they’s ideas or what they is, but I got all this floating in my head.

Office break room (dt mpls)
Overheard by My co-workers, ladies & gentlemen, give ‘em a hand.

Hipster dude to his date as she exits the restroom: Was it number one or number two?
Hip date: (laugh) I was just fixing my hair and makeup!

Cafe Barbette
Overheard by Spread that on your baguette!

Morbidly obese Southerner catching his breath while exiting the stall: Whew… man! I’ll tell ya’.
Morbidly obese man’s friend washing his hands: What’s wrong, Bill?
Morbidly obese Southerner catching his breath while exiting the stall: I just murdered the toilet in there. I left breakfast and half my lunch!

Mall of America men’s restroom
Overheard by No More Fried Chicken for this Yankee.

Suspicious Coworker: The moon landing, The Masons… it all just makes you think.
Coworker across from suspicious coworker: Yeah.

Target Brooklyn Park

College guy #1: How can you have gone through 3 cans of pepper spray in a month!?
College guy #2 with amazingly blond curly hair to group of friends: I’ve gotten in the habit of running into creepy people on my way home from work at night. So I just kinda spray around corners now.
College guy #1 (suspiciously): What? Like where?
College guy #2 with amazingly blond curly hair: Lake Street and Hiawatha, the corner outside of Calhoun Square, downtown by the LRT station.
College guy #1 (aghast): Those are the homeless!
College guy #2 with amazingly blond curly hair: Hey, when a homeless person sets your car on fire one day just because they’re cold let’s see if you’re not a little jumpy! (mumbles) They should be in better lit areas anyway.

Bloomington Perkins
Overheard by hanberger all over my table.

20ish year old mom to her 3ish year old son: Put that down! Don’t make me smack you for real today… and pull your pants up!

#16 bus stop
Overheard by don’t worry, it was just a chunk of snow.