20 something girl to 20 something guy: I don’t know if it was because you’re cool or if it’s because I was drunk.

Lake Street, between Miami Club and Bryant Lake Bowl

Long haired guy to girl drinking iced chai: You left me during foreplay to go weed up with your dealer. I’m not sure, but I think addiction is too weak a word for what you’ve got.
Chai girl: But you know how much I like weed.
Long haired guy: I think we’re done here.

Uncommon Grounds

Middle-Aged Neighbor #1: I love Lynyrd Skynyrd.
Middle-Aged Neighbor #2: Yeah, great music. (Long Pause) It’s too bad he died in that plane crash.
Middle-Aged Neighbor #1: You mean that they died in a plane crash. it was a band, not a single person.
Middle-Aged Neighbor #2: You’re shittin’ me?

Lakeville neighborhood block party

Woman on cell phone with her teenage daughter: Well, honey, I’m sorry I assumed you were forging someone’s paper, I just never thought you were that smart.

MOA
Overheard by oh mom, stop, you’ll overinflate my ego.

Bookish Teen Girl: As a general rule, I’m nonmigratory.

Burnsville High School
Overheard by Me too.

Very ghetto bride-to-be, holding up paper samples: Damn, I be like bride-zilla up in here!
Very ghetto bridesmaid-to-be: Awwww hell, girl!

Paper Depot
Overheard by paper shuffler.

Gay man #1: I pretty much just farted with every step from the electronics department to here.
Gay man #2: And the ironic part is, you’re carrying toilet paper.
Gay man #1: Quite.

Target, Roseville
Overheard by Ok, ew.