High School Freshman Girl #1: So, there’s this pill that you can take and you won’t get pregnant.
High School Freshman Girl #2: Really? So you don’t have to wear a condom anymore?
High School Freshman Girl #1: (Laughs) I never did, they did! And yeah, you just have to take the pill the next morning and you won’t get pregnant!

Jefferson High School
Overheard by Appalled Senior.

Preschool girl on dad’s shoulders: But not all deer are nice.
Dad: No… not all of them.
Preschool girl on dad’s shoulders: Some deer are evil.
Dad: Right, some deer ARE evil.

Deer exhibit/The Sportsman’s Show
Overheard by adam.

Checkout Girl, holding up clementine orange: So, I was just outside loading that old guy’s order into his car, and he tipped me with this!
Cashier: That’s… um, nice, I guess?
Checkout Girl: Well, yeah, I thought! I mean, maybe he thought I wasn’t getting enough Vitamin C!
Cashier: Maybe he’s on a worldwide quest to improve everyone’s health.

Surdyk’s
Overheard by in line and wishing i’d brought some citrus.

Chesty Teen: Girrrrrl, if you got size F, you need a BREAST reduction!

HHS girls locker room

Target employee #1 talking to fellow Target employee with curly blonde hair: Yeah, some man tried to steal a pair of headphones and cut his wrist in the process so now this blood is everywhere!
Target employee with curly blonde hair: Wow, way to fail. What idiot needs a razor blade to open headphones? They’re packaged as lightly as light bulbs.
Target employee #1: Yeah, and we found him hiding in the bathroom. Apparently he didn’t realize that the trail of blood he was leaving throughout the store would actually lead to him.
Target employee with curly blonde hair: You do realize that this is exactly why WE’RE Targhetto and no one else is.
Target employee #1: You know someone’s going to have to guard this until it can be cleaned up.
Target employee with curly blonde hair: 1, 2, 3 not me!

Target Lake Street AKA Targhetto
Overheard by 4, 5, 6; guess you’re the *itch.

Retail guy #1: So you shopping for Jane*?
Retail guy #2: He’s already got one of those.
Retail guy #1: Oh yeah? What’d she cost you?
Visitor: A few friends.

Rosedale Zumiez
Overheard by Price Inflation Sucks.

Child during the show: Mom, whats porn?

Avenue Q