Boyfriend: It’s weird, your entire family’s got this kind of nasally voice.
Girlfriend: Um… what… I don’t think…
Boyfriend: It’s kind of like a fire alarm. Like, (imitating a fire alarm) eeeeeeaaaahhh!
Girlfriend: I’m not… um… sure… that’s… even me?
Boyfriend: Hey, I think it’s cute!

Parkview Cafe in St. Paul
Overheard by mmmhmmm…

Office woman #1: Come here, I’m confused by what you wrote on our supply list.
Office woman #2: Why, what’s wrong?
Office woman #1: You said you need manilla folders.
Office woman #2: Yeah… so?
Office woman #1: You dork! It’s VANILLA folders!

downtown office
Overheard by pretty sure it’s manilla.

Boyfriend: (preparing to pay bar bill, looking at barmaid) Do you think if I rolled this up and put it in my mouth she’d take it in her snatch?
Girlfriend: I’m going to fucking hit you.

Manicinis Steak House in St. Paul
Overheard by Max.

Thugette: …and they always be undressin’ me with they eyes.
Thug: Bitch, please. It ain’t “they eyes.” It’s “their eyes.”

Northbound on the lightrail

Gangsta guy: Yo, it stinks like onion farts up in here, boo.
Gangsta girl: Oh, hell yeah!
Gangsta guy: It does!

On the 18G
Overheard by Honey Bunny, who totally smells it too.

Ghetto guy to ghetto girlfriend who is looking at panties: Girl, you better hurry up lookin’ at them draws’. Don’t get none with no fancy shit and designs and all that shit. We gots to GO.
Ghetto girl: But the only ones I be gettin’ are the boyshorts kind. The kind that covers yo’ ass.
Ghetto guy: No wonder yo’ ass neva hangs out ya draws’ no more.

Downtown Target
Overheard by Person who works in the infamously profane 225 South 6th St. building.