Middle-aged woman exiting aisle 4 to nobody in particular: Hey, someone took my cart. Someone with old timer’s maybe.

Cub Foods - Sun Ray center St Paul
Overheard by smooth d.

Morbidly obese man riding a rascal at Cub Foods: We can’t get the eggs that come in a pack of six, cause that’s like, only one omelette.

Cub Foods in St. Louis Park
Overheard by That Explains a lot.

Teenage boy on the phone: Man, Target doesn’t have the right type of notebook that I need. I need one with a hard cover. You know why? [pause] Yeah, you know why. [pause] Cause I throw my shit AROUND. I don’t baby my notebooks. Suck my dick, notebooks!

Target in Woodbury
Overheard by I’m sure that would feel good.

Tipsy Grandmother: Oh, so he nibbles you like a duck?

Haven rd, Minnetonka
Overheard by dubious.

Male College Student: I need a spaceship. *pause* Where are you living next year?

Frozen Foods Aisle, Midway Target
Overheard by I’m living at Target.

One cashier to the other as they revel in their so-unhip-as-to-be hip choice of America’s “Holiday” over the store sound system: Listening to this, I feel like I’m driving a train with two one-way tickets to Hitsville. George Martin produced it, you know.

Snelling Ave. Cheapo (St. Paul)
Overheard by Do you need tix if you’re driving the train?

(Hopefully?) inebriated guy to his friends: If anyone is gonna be having sex with my sister it’s gonna be me.

Just outside of University Commons
Overheard by Out too Late.

Defensive Guy: I hate spinach! That’s why I’d give it to the mountain goats!

HWJH
Overheard by in his creative writing class.

Drunk Black Guy: Girl, you wanna roll with me?
Mousy White Girl: Umm, no thanks?
Drunk Black Guy: Why not?
Mousy White Girl: You seem to be doing fine on your own already.

#16 to Minneapolis, Washington Ave & Cedar-ish

Mom to young son in the women’s bathroom: Come on honey, just go to the bathroom already.
3-year-old son: Ok, mommy. (30 seconds of silence, the kid still sits on the toilet swinging his legs) (singing loudly) Go ahead and poooooop, go ahead and pooooop [pause]. Go ahead and faaaaaart, go ahead and faaaaaart.

Highland ice arena
Overheard by Thanks for the play-by-play.

CSR #1: Man says here Top 3 selling DVD’s this week: 1. 10 Things I hate About You, 2. Knight’s Tale, 3. Brokeback Mountain
CSR #2: Ha, people would.
CSR #1: Yeah, way to make money off someone’s death.
CSR #2: “OH DUDE DIED I’M GONNA BUY EVERYTHING HE DID!” What a bunch of tools.
CSR #1: All 3 are good. But why up and buy them just because he’s dead?
CSR #2: I guess they’re kinda like zombie movies now.
(Laughing and mixed stares)
CSR #2: Too soon?

EP Call Center
Overheard by Too Soon!?