Hipster boy to his sister, after being greeted by a salesgirl at Urban Outfitters: I totally lost my virginity to a girl who works at Urban.
Sister: That’s okay… I totally lost mine to a Jew!

Urban Outfitters at Mall of America
Overheard by They must have bonded over their skinny pants.

Really Old Wife: What’s the name of the doctor we are seeing?
Really Old Husband: They don’t have names, it is luck of the draw.
Really Old Wife: What are you, stupid? All doctors have names.
Really Old Husband: (Begins to open mouth and then thinks better of it)

Healthpartners Urgent Care
Overheard by Why men die before women.

Woman who probably likes hotdish #1: I won’t take your Mickey Mouse one.
Woman who probably likes hotdish #2: Just don’t try to take my automatic one!

Corporate cubeland, Eagan
Overheard by Get back to work.

Patron getting on lightrail dressed in Twins garb, obviously on the way to the Twins game with his family: I wonder which train I’m supposed to get on, I hope I don’t get on the wrong one…

46th Street Lightrail station
Overheard by JoJoC.

Coworker about a constantly farting coworker: She is flatulent as a mo’ fo’!

225 S. 6th St, Minneapolis, 12th floor
Overheard by Yes, she is.

Girl #1: State of the Union tonight! Are you gonna watch?!
Girl #2: Hell yes!
Guy: Boring.
Girl #2: What are you talking about? The State of the Union is awesome. I lost my virginity after the 2004 speech.
Girl #1: Drunk, angry liberals seeking solace in each other’s arms… It’s a beautiful time of year.

Caribou on Snelling and Grand
Overheard by I’m watching this year.