Early 20s “Dude” in line for beer with his buddies: I USED to smoke and chew… but then I quit one.

Wild Game
Overheard by now you will live half as long!

Old White Cashier Woman (Singing): Bombs over Baghdad, Bombs over Baghdad.

Einstein Bros inside Coffman Union

Freshman #1, smoking a cigarette: And do you remember what she wore for Halloween? Like, a TINY skirt and a shirt she rolled up. It wasn’t even a costume, it was just making her clothes as whorey as possible!
Freshman #2: Yeah, I know. Like, it’s ok if your costume is skanky, as long as you pay for it, but her’s was just clothes!

Outside Comstock
Overheard by ARH.

Mom in a baby voice: Let’s zip up your coat. Do you want to know how cold it is?
3 year old: How?
Mom in a baby voice: So cold that if you don’t wear your mittens your fingernails will fall off.

Tunnel from Fairview University to parking ramp
Overheard by Scarring children for life.

Woman walking down the street: Well, we’re thinking of going to Mexico.
Woman #2: (in bored voice) Oh, Mexico. I went there once.

e hennepin ave
Overheard by you know you’re rich when…

Woman #1 in Woman #2’s cube: Why do you have a fake mustache in your cube? (She holds it to her face.) Gross, it smells like old feet! Here, try!
Woman #2: No! (giggles)

Downtown office
Overheard by JfA.