Older guy (pointing at Orpheum Theatre): They had that ice-skating chick there once!
Slightly younger guy: Halle Berry?
Older guy: Naw, it wasn’t her… the white chick!
Slightly younger guy: Jennifer Lopez?
Older guy: Naw… Dorothy Hamill! That’s who it was!

The #6 bus on Hennepin
Overheard by No wait, I think it’s Yao Ming!

Stylish 20-something on cell phone: Honey, even if he does have a big penis, he still should have bought you flowers…

some apartment on huron blvd, minneapolis
Overheard by not that picky.

Mother: You should put your boots back on.
Young girl: I don’t wanna wear ‘em.
Mother: It’s against the law, you should put them back on.
Young girl: I don’t wanna wear ‘em.
Mother: You don’t want to get arrested for not wearing your boots, do you?

Old Navy, Burnsville Center

Guy (to guy #2): You’re going to love this movie, man.
Ditz: Will I love it?
Guy: Uh… I don’t know. I hope so.
Ditz: Is it a romantic comedy? I like romantic comedies.
Guy: No. It’s not a romantic comedy.
Ditz: Is it like ‘Must Love Dogs’? I like ‘Must Love Dogs.’

Uptown Theater
Overheard by Friends don’t let friends bring their girlfriends.

Dude#1 on cell phone: Dude! Direct from rehab, how you doing? I work this weekend but we can party up at night. What? You can’t, how come?
Dude #2 listening nearby under his breath: Because he just got out of rehab?
Dude #1, still on cell phone: Oh, you’re still in rehab? Well, when you get out we’ll party up.

Posters On Board

4-year-old white girl: I’m from South Africa.
Her father: No, you were just conceived in South Africa. You were born here.

Target by Knollwood
Overheard by How could she remember that?

Dude #1: So we’re going to Colorado. We should get hooked up with some girls, yo.
Dude #2: I could ask my friend Heather from Denver to get some girls together. Remember Heather?
Dude #1, 3 & 4: Uhhh– *silence*
Dude #2: Well, I’m sure she’s got some hot FRIENDS.

Coffee News, St. Paul on Grand Ave.
Overheard by Dudes, I’m telling Heather you said that.

Misguided vegetarian: Can I get a veggieburger with bacon?

U cafeteria
Overheard by What are we solving here?

Woman tucked away in a room, which is not her office, talking on the phone: …I wouldn’t have you under ‘Mark Hot and Sexy’ if you weren’t!

225 S. 6th Street, 12th floor
Overheard by I hope you didn’t bring any of your toys with you, too!

Guy #1 (to Asian friend): Wait, you’re Chinese? I never knew that.
Guy #2: Are you serious? You’ve known him since high school, and you didn’t know he was Chinese?
Guy #1: Well… I just always thought he was Asian.

Middlebrook Hall
Overheard by Seymour.

Man in tie on cell phone: Let me put it this way - if you have every kind of girl scout cookie lined up on the counter when I get there, we could be talkin’ business.

Minneapolis Grain Exchange Building
Overheard by Danielle.

Man: Are your parents tall?
Tall man with whom he is walking: Yeah, they’re kind of tall.
Man: Because you’re, like, basketball tall.
Tall man: Yeah, I guess I am.

Rarig Center, U of M

Four-year-old in 14F: Mama, when we finally get up in the air, can I roll down my window?

NWA #1495
Overheard by someone eyeing the oxygen masks.

Teenage girl #1: Ohhhh, that dress is, like, so cute on you.
Teenage girl #2: I know. But, it’s $108. If it was $100, I’d buy it, but I can’t afford $108.
Teenage girl #1 (a little bit later): Like, I could really go for a mocha right now.

Rosedale Macy dressing rooms
Overheard by I bet you can afford a $4 coffee.

Guy waiting in line for his prescription talking loudly on cell phone: No, I’m pretty sure the Vu is open 24/7, man.

Super Target Pharmacy / Shoreview
Overheard by Even if your Valtrex takes until 10 to fill, you should still be good.

Annoyingly Loud Cube Neighbor: Yeah, I just ate a lot of protein and a lot of whole grains for lunch.

494/94, Woodbury
Overheard by Not Sitting Here for Long.

Vendor in Adjacent Booth to Co-Worker While Examining Crowd: It’s as if someone detonated a redneck bomb, and we’re standing at ground zero.

St. Paul Home and Patio Show
Overheard by NASCAR Team Jackets are NOT Ok.

Guy at concert to friend: Dude, that girl’s hair is so spiky. It felt like it was cutting my face. It’s like she has razor hair or something!
Friend: I know! She was cutting mine too!!

Station 4, St Paul
Overheard by I’m pretty sure that’s what you’d call a haircut.

Jock #1: Did you get your hair cut?
Jock #2: Yeah. Why? Does it look shorter?
Jock #1: Yeah.
Jock #2: Yeah.
Jock #1: Why did you get it cut?
Jock #2: Cause I needed it shorter.

u of mn dorms
Overheard by enligtened.

Girl on escalator to roommate: You know, since I started living with you and listening to you having sex down the hallway, the list of things that upset me has greatly diminished.
Roommate: Well, glad I could help.

Mall of America, East Side escalators
Overheard by always appreciate a helpful roommate.