Sunday School Teacher referring to the new year traditions: Okay kids, what is old, and the same every year?
4 Year old: GRANDMA!?

St. Marks Church In St. Paul
Overheard by nail on the head kid.

Drunk Guy #1: (singing) Drink Caparoney All Night Long.
Drunk Guy #2: Yeah, I might have to order some of that “Caparoney.”

The Local/ Downtown
Overheard by I think it’s “Train Kept A-Rollin’ All Night Long”

Freshman Girl: You should have come to the party; it was crazy.
Freshman Boy: Didn’t (mumbled name) get really drunk?
Freshman Girl: No, she wasn’t drunk — she didn’t even pass out.

Classroom, WHS
Overheard by Concerned for the future.

Hipster with ducks-ass hairstyle and leather coat: …so then the old man goes, “Oh I get it, Happy Days!” And I just looked at him and was like, “I dress like this every day.”

Mickey’s Diner, St. Paul
Overheard by inothernews.

Grubby man at bus stop: What you reading there, the Bible?
Bookish man at bus stop: No, Charles Dickens.
Grubby man at bus stop: Oh, ‘Huckleberry Finn’?
Bookish man at bus stop: No… ‘A Christmas Carol.’
Grubby man at bus stop: Oh, yeah? Say, man, can I get 35 cents off you?

Lake Street Midtown Station
Overheard by A real Dickens fan probably would have given him something.

UDS Employee: She told me that white men were more dangerous than black men. I said, “Don’t even! Martin Luther King Jr. was killed by a black man.” Did you know that?
Student: Um, actually, Martin Luther King Jr. was killed by a white man.
UDS Employee: Really?

Middlebrook Hall
Overheard by Seymour.

Sassy momma (out of the blue): I say “dude” a lot!

The office in Lakeville
Overheard by I say “the” a lot.

Twelve year old Girl: I would love being a monkey.

Highland Park
Overheard by you’re closer than you think.

Random kid in Cooper hallway: …kisses like a dog, so I don’t care.

Cooper High School