Mom of two pantless three year olds: I know bad poopies hurt the bottom.
One of the pantless three year olds: [sniffles and whines, holding his butt]
Mom of two pantless three year olds: I know bad poopies hurt the bottom.

Women’s Bathroom Eagan Life Time Fitness
Overheard by Lunch Lifetimer.

Tigger apparel-clad white girl to cute Asian friend: LOOK! It’s Eeyore! (in reference to Clydesdale horses in torchlight parade)
Cute Asian friend: Eeyore… is… a… donkey.

Wabasha & 5th
Overheard by Why are you friends with her?!

Teenager: Yo, gimme a call tomorrow.
Teenaged friend: Yeah, I’ma holla atcha if I ain’t in jail.

the 16

Cashier of Parking Violation Dept: I’ll need to see some ID.
Woman: I don’t have an ID. I only have a driver’s license.

Courthouse in St. Paul
Overheard by I sure hope you do?

Drunk guy to server: I am going to shave dogs and party.
Server: Why would you shave dogs?
Drunk guy: Nobody else shaves dogs.
Server: Why would you want to shave a dog?
Drunk guy: So they would be shaved.

Tin Shed, Savage
Overheard by Not asking him to dog sit.

Middle-Aged Suburban Mom: …There was something about a horse in the forest.
Teenaged Daughter: That was to distract you from them having intercourse.

Grand & Victoria

Girl #1: So I talked to her yesterday and she said she finally got her nipples waxed! And I was like, “Whoa! I got mine done yesterday, too!”
Girl #2: …Ohh.

SAHS
Overheard by i dont think that should be talked about in school hallways…

Man: Did you throw away those Little Smokies?
Pregnant Woman #1: There was only one weenie left.
Pregnant Woman #2: (with a twinkle in her eye) That’s all you need.

Superbowl Party - Maple Grove
Overheard by your mom.

Thirtysomething dude #1: So, did you get a prostate exam?
Thirtysomething dude #2, guffawing: Yeah, there’s a great story there!

In line at the Obama rally
Overheard by Not sure she wants to know…

20ish Woman exiting a fitting room, in a confrontational tone: So what, exactly, are push-up bras supposed to DO, anyway?!!

Victoria’s Secret, MOA
Overheard by don’t ask me, i just work here.

Woman on cell phone (with her 5-year-old sitting next to her): Yeah, he probably shouldn’t have gotten so stoned before he did our tattoos. [pause] Oh yeah, he was totally fucked up! [pause] Well, in all fairness, we shouldn’t have rushed him, but still, he could’ve done a better job.

Flameburger
Overheard by nominating this woman for mother of the year.

Mom explaining the danger of coral snakes to her 4-year-old daughter: Okay sweetie, if you see a snake with red and yellow… *pause*… like McDonald’s colors, it’s bad and you should run away from it.

Bell Museum
Overheard by educating our children with fast food refrences.