Snaggletooth worker calling her kid at home: Now before you go, I want you to eat something… No, something HEALTHY. Like chicken nuggets.

The office in Lakeville
Overheard by Rock Peckhard.

Crazy woman sitting on front-most seat in bus, looking out as the doors open: Well ya better pay now, bitch!

2 bus, Lyndale and Franklin
Overheard by ORLY.

Thirty-something woman: God, I hope I don’t have ugly kids. If they come out with an ugly facial feature, I’m totally going to get that shit fixed. I’ll be like, ‘Who wants a nose job? Momma’s buyin!’

Majors
Overheard by The reason why I’m not going back to Majors.

Latin student #1: Can we celebrate that one Remus + Romulus holiday?
Latin teacher: Uh…no. Mostly because they all got naked and lashed each other with whips.
Latin student #2: Not ’til Valentines Day, then?

Outside Nicholson Hall
Overheard by French Student.

Reporter, after hanging up phone: Hey, we might have a hate crime!
Other reporter: All right! We love hate crimes.

A Metropolitan Newsroom
Overheard by What’s not to love?