Urban Guy #1 to Urban Guy #2 going down the escalator: It’s like Jack Nicholson says, “You can’t handle the truth.”
Urban Guy #2: [nods]

Government Center
Overheard by Curious to what kind of truth we’re talking about.

Tall man on the phone: Hi, my name is David*, and I’m trying to get some information. I have a school in North Dakota that puts students in hospitals…

The office in Lakeville
Overheard by Doesn’t remember the schools in ND being that rough.

Crusty old man upset that adult bookstore doesn’t open until 10am: Where ‘da goddamn whores and shit?! It’s been four years! Where are the GODDAMN WHORES and SHIT?!?

7th St W St. Paul
Overheard by Loving my new apartment.

Wife (accusingly): What? Why are you in a good mood all of a sudden?
Husband (defensively): I’m not!

Sugarloaf, North Shore
Overheard by Cheerful and proud.

Middle-age skeazy dude #1: You ever eat at that Chipotle?
Middle-age skeazy dude #2: Nuh-uh.
Middle-age skeazy dude #1: Burritos as big as a donkey’s dick in there!
Middle-age skeazy dude #2: Mmmmm-mmmm!

16 Bus on Washington
Overheard by Wow, don’t think I can eat at Chipotle ever again.

Female student: …that has nothing to do with the economy!
Male student: But really, which do you think is better - oral or vaginal sex?

u of m - blegen hall
Overheard by i think it’s time for a study break.

Girlfriend/Law Student to Boyfriend/Law Student who is acting obnoxious because he was right about something.: I am so glad that I won’t have to practice law with you!

WMCL Business Tax Class
Overheard by get a grip.

Not Pregnant Girl: Oh, so my period was, like, a day late. I was drawing the water for my suicide bath when I got it.
Not Pregnant Girl’s Friend: How Sylvia Plath of you. Promise me if you ever decide to actually kill yourself you’ll place a copy of the Bell Jar next to your body because I would laugh forever over that.

the cookie aisle of rainbow foods
Overheard by hide all sharp objects.

Girl to her friend: The thing about cauliflower au gratin is that, even though it’s covered in cheese sauce, it’s still cauliflower.

centennial dining hall
Overheard by thanks for the enlightenment.