Seedy Loud Crackhead to sharply dressed college guy with curly blond hair: You look just like Shirley Temple!
Disturbed looking college guy with curly blond hair: (Turns)
Seedy Loud Crackhead: Oh… you have a beard. [to no one] I don’t smoke dope! I’m not on any medications! I’m a stripper! Hey I’m not disturbing the patrons! Jesus! Jesus! Gotta visit! Wife! Hospital at 5! I’m from NY! Gotta go to Milwaukee! (walks up to blond curly college guy) I love you Shirley girl! Love you!
Disturbed looking college guy with curly blond hair: Um, I’m a guy, thanks.
Seedy Loud Crackhead: Well, I love you, too! (pats boys shoulder)

Pizza restaurant on campus
Overheard by oh sweet jesus, why does this always happen to me.

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