Girl Employee: Is that the only thing you’ve eaten today?
Guy Employee (eating a muffin): Yeah, I never really get hungry.
Girl Employee: How is that possible? I would be starving.
Guy Employee: I don’t really like the act of eating.

Cheapo Uptown

Businessman #1: I’ll just cheer you up when you need it and you’ll cheer me up when I need it, how’s that?
Businessman #2: There’s simply not enough cheer in the world to execute such a plan.

mpls grain exchange

(A bum gets off the bus after a girl gives him cash for fare)
College Guy: I think it’d be fun to study the money-scrounging ways of bums.
College Girl: *thoughtfully* Yeah, they’re good at it.
College Guy: Yeah.

9th and Hennepin on southbound 6 bus
Overheard by awe.

Ghetto Momma (looking at baby clothes): I wanna have another baby.
Ghetto Baby Daddy: No, you don’t.
Ghetto Momma: Yeah, I do.
Ghetto Baby Daddy: No, you don’t.
Ghetto Momma: Yeah, I do. (says wistfully) I’m gonna have another baby with a fine ass man with lotsa money!

Fridley Super Target
Overheard by MKizzle.

Lesbian: I’m not sorry, but you can spank me until I am!

Riverview Theater
Overheard by Grenadine™.