Guy at the bar: Let me get on my soapbox for a moment… (clears throat) Double Penetration porn…

Renegades in Savage.
Overheard by What the hell are my ears about to be subject to?

Woman at the bar: Me and another girl at work have the exact same car. (slight pause) Different license plates, but the same car.

Broadway Bar/St. Paul Park

Girl: That’s not gonna make girls jump on your dick like it’s pancakes… Although some would.

16 Bus, Eastbound; Washington & University
Overheard by ORLY.

Bro #1: Yeah, dude, I went snowmobiling drunk this weekend.
Bro #2: Nice!

St. Thomas math classroom
Overheard by horrified.

Hipster-y cultural studies guy to hipster-y cultural studies friends: Seriously guys I play, like, 3 hours of spider solitaire a day. Sometimes I go to sleep and I can still see cards. I play, like, imaginary games.
Friend: Yeah, I used to play at work. Do you play at work?
Hipster-y cultural studies guy: No, we don’t have any card games at work. They took away all the card games.

Nicholson Hall, U of M
Overheard by Fears for our youth, and is wondering why I continue to take cultural studies classes.

PETA girl: Eeew I can’t do this! (looking at fetal pig in bio class)
Guy: Look, it is easy, see it’s cute, you can hold it.
PETA girl: No, gross.
Guy: No, really, you can hold it just like a baby, then you cut it up. It’s cool.

Cooper High School Science Class
Overheard by Not a nerd.

Hot Girl #1: Man, it’s been way too long since I’ve gotten any ass; it’s ridiculous.
Hot Girl #2: *in a sing-song voice* How ridiculous is it?
Hot Girl #1: *legitimately angry* So ridiculous that I might punch you in the ovaries if you say shit like that again!

Coon Rapids Target
Overheard by I’m getting all your ass mwuhahaha!