Woman on cell phone: Well, the security threat level is… (lowers her voice) orange.

MSP
Overheard by oh no! not orange!

Middle-aged woman having lunch with a male friend: I was so excited, I dropped my sandwich!

DBrian’s downtown Minneapolis
Overheard by what was going on under that table?!

Woman, during a conversation about circumcision: A wiener is just a wiener!

225 S. 6th Street
Overheard by I’m just speechless.

Woman on the phone, a few cubicles over: Was it a barracuda?!

225 S. 6th Street, 12th floor
Overheard by are you sure it wasn’t a platypus?

Hipster Boy: Hey, I noticed you haven’t been dating much lately.
Hipster Girl: Thanks for pointing that out, asshole.
Hipster Boy: What I meant was, you haven’t been sleeping around as much as you used to.
Hipster Girl: What the hell is THAT supposed to mean!?!
Hipster Boy: I’m just trying to give you a compliment!

Muddy Waters
Overheard by Welcome to Whittier.

Coworker to self: I need an emotional chiropractor.

The office in Lakeville
Overheard by Needs an emotional cracking himself.

Middle-aged woman on cell phone at 6:30 pm in a patronizing tone: Have you been drinking? … Do they know you’ve been drinking? … How many have you had? … Do I need to take you to detox again? … Okay, I’ll be home after book group.

Edina Panera
Overheard by Seriously? “Tuesdays with Morrie” can wait.

Four-Year Old (in cutesy voice): Excuse me sir, are you retarded?

Downtown Target
Overheard by WUT?

70 year old woman: I just feel as if a gremlin is in my pillow at night.

Cub Foods Burnsville
Overheard by I think we all feel that way.