Coworker: Candy and bagels?  God, life is good.

Cube farm, City Center
Overheard by sxoidmal.

Effete young man #1: He had HIV, not AIDS.
Effete young man #2: Aren’t HIV and AIDS the same thing?
Effete young man #1: No.
Effete young man #2: But aren’t they, like, related?
Effete young man #1: No! You can’t get AIDS if you take care of your body. [coughs in friend's face] You’re infected now!
Effete young man #2: How do you know?
Effete young man #1: I poked you and now you’re infected!

Northbound light rail, between terminals
Overheard by Be safe, boys.

Bus driver (looking at two guys walking towards the athletic field carrying a 12 foot pipe between them) to guy getting on bus: I betchya it’s for a REALLY big bong.
Guy getting on bus: Actually, I think it’s holding athletic equipment.
Bus driver: I like my idea better.

Bus route 3E through Dinkytown
Overheard by I don’t care for professionalism either.

Teen Guy: Kosher, that means Jewish, right?

Burnsville High School
Overheard by Riiiiiiight…