Classmate: Aren’t we going to go over current events?
Sorority Girl: Were there any?

SJMC, U of M
Overheard by Appalled that we’re receiving the same degree.

Woman: Ugh.  I’m so full.  Getting ice cream was a mistake.
Man: Yeah, I didn’t need that ice cream.
Woman: Good thing we had the sex first.

Leaving Dairy Queen in Highland Park
Overheard by At least you’re getting sex.

Old Minnesotan Lady #1: Well, I don’t know why, but she’s all mad at me!
Old Minnesotan Lady #2: Well, just buy her a cookie during break.
Old Minnesotan Lady #1: There is no break at this one!

The Ordway
Overheard by Cookies always solve my problems.

Local stand-up comedian to Fancy Ray, while discussing his Lickety Split commercials: Screw the porn, I jerk off to Fancy Ray.
Second stand-up comedian: Yeah, but do you draw eyebrows on your nads first?

Outside of Brave New Workshop
Overheard by Did Fancy Ray ask YOU to hold his weenie, or am I just lucky?

Down-on-his-luck man, donating plasma: Hey, you cute.  Wanna go out some time?
Woman on next bed, also donating: Uh, no thanks.
Man: B**ch!  Who else you know make $20 an hour?

Aventis, U of M campus
Overheard by sxoidmal.

Hockey Mom #1:  I don’t know why they have to have it so cold in here.
Hockey Mom#2:  Seriously, it’s absolutely freezing in here.

Northern suburb ice arena
Overheard by 2 ingredients of ice, water and COLD.