Teen girl to her friends: Just because the bitch is pregnant doesn’t mean I won’t kick her ass.  I’ll still beat her pregnant ass!  You ain’t pregnant in yo’ face!

Burnsville Center
Overheard by Concerned Parent.

Women in next stall on her cellphone: … go  into the office and ask for a pair of scissors.  And don’t tell them I had an accident and have to cut my pants off.

Ladies Bathroom in Goodwill
Overheard by ewwww.

Elderly woman looking for her cell phone: Did you put it on vibrate?
Woman’s husband: What do you want? The vibrator?

The Westin Hotel - Downtown
Overheard by a couple employees who thought we’d heard it all.

20 something male: Yeah, these are my sound dampening head phones I was telling you about.
20 something female: Do you ever get bored in your mind when you have these on? Man, I can’t even hear myself!

Southtown Bowling Lanes
Overheard by A Mechanic.

Cute chick playing pool: I think it’s okay. I mean I can drink a few times a week and not need more. I don’t have a problem or anything.
Pool Opponent: Denial.
Cute Chick: Denial in a river in the Amazon.

Mums bar, Mankato
Overheard by That’s not how I heard it…

Older, apparently wiser Valet, to younger Valet who is sitting on the curb, nodding and listening intently: This is a process, with many steps. See me now? I was once where you are.

Hennepin and 6th underground parking ramp
Overheard by I was once sitting on a curb myself.

Cook frying a cheeseburger to Cashier: When I was young I used to call them cheese boogers.

Culvers
Overheard by Please Don’t Make Me My Food.

Math Teacher: Wouldn’t it be nice if this was quadratic? *sniffs* It smells quadratic! It smells like a quardratic, can
you smell it?

MHS

Little boy to his mother: Oh yes, he broke his bat!  Now the other team doesn’t have as many bats as the Twins!

Section 127, Row 119, Metrodome
Overheard by Happy that the innocence isn’t lost.