Kid: And I locked the door all by myself, neat huh?
Woman: Mmm… uh huh.
Kid: But I didn’t touch the water. Did you know that I touched the water once when I was 2? But I DIDN’T touch the poop. That would be dangerous!
Woman (obviously not listening): Okay.

Waconia grocery store bathroom
Overheard by and the yellow water isn’t dangerous?

Lady in Line at TSA Checkpoint: Excuse me where is the bathroom where is the bathroom where people get all the ’special encounters’.
TSA Guy: It’s the next bathroom, past the other bathroom over there. [points in direction of restroom]
Lady: Okay… Thanks!

Minneapolis Airport
Overheard by Larry Craig Made our Airport Famous.

Office lady #1 [explaining versions]: It’s hard to compare between the old and new.
Office lady #2: That’s why we do virgins… I mean versions.

Meeting room in downtown St. Paul
Overheard by Fan of Freudian Slips.

Spanish teacher: What are the top two Spanish speaking countries?
Random Boy: Egypt?

Jefferson high school Spanish class
Overheard by random student in the class.

Customer service rep: [apparently taking a wrong number call] Sorry, we don’t have a Dick.

The office in Lakeville
Overheard by Loose Knuckle Chucky.