Punky suburban girl: (Pouring splenda into her coffee) I don’t care. Let it give me cancer and kill me!
Friends: (Laugh)
Punky suburban girl: (frowning) I’ll probably end up killing myself anyway.
Friends: (Stop laughing)

Perkins in Plymouth

Drunk college kid: Dude, this one time I ate a whole bag of Cheetos by myself and my poop was orange the next day!

u of m, spring jam 08
Overheard by are we 21 or 2?

Drunk College Senior Girl: I was two for the 1987 World Series.
“Old” Guy: Really? I was nineteen.
Drunk College Senior Girl: Well, you don’t look that old!

Stub and Herbs
Overheard by: t.ro

Middle Scool Age Kid to Friend: No, dude, just punch me in the stomach!

AMC movie theatre at Rosedale Mall
Overheard by ah, to be young again.