Old guy to a total stranger who was celebrating his 40th Birthday: When you’re young you can make love to six women at a time, but when you’re old you can only make love to three women at a time.
Birthday Boy: Three women is plenty for me.
Old Guy: Don’t tell anyone I said that to you.

Mancini’s in St. Paul
Overheard by Coco.

Mother: So, are you glad you lived in the dorms this year?
Perky Daughter: Yeah! I made so many friends!
Mother: That’s good. When I lived in the dorms I was just really, really lonely.
Perky Daughter: Oh.

u of m- superblock
Overheard by awkward…

Girl #1: So, did you finally give it up last night?
Girl #2: No, I think I want to be sober my first time.
Girl #1: You should have told me that sooner. I have spent a lot of money getting you drunk so someone can take advantage of you!

Campus Bus @ U of M
Overheard by I want a friend like this.

Drunken fool: So, have you killed anyone lately?
Bartender: (blank stare) What?
Drunken fool: Have you killed anyone lately?
Bartender: No, not lately. (walks away)
Drunken fool: (eagerly glances to woman beside him, hoping she is impressed) That is the best question EVER.

King and I Thai
Overheard by Bartender, can I have another.

Little girl (on trike): Generally, though, mom, girls don’t ride skateboards.
Tired Mom: *sigh* Well, it’s just an engendered world, Lilly.

Saint Thomas Campus
Overheard by Stephan?

Guy in line for bathroom: Doorman, huh? How tall are you?
Really tall guy holding bathroom door: I… don’t… know.

Blarney - Dinkytown
Overheard by aeh.

(Movie preview voice: Hamlet Two! Coming in August!)
High school airhead girl: Was there a Hamlet One?

Duluth Marcus 10 Theater
Overheard by i hear it was straight-to-dvd.

Guy #1: Seriously, that girl has a mouth the size of a dinosaur.
Guy #2: What kind of dinosaur?
Guy #1: A big mouthed dinosaur.

u of mn mall
Overheard by he could have said any noun.