Policeman at scene of old man’s death: Well, he died in the shower, so pretty much everything just ran down the drain. So you’re not going to have to do any remodeling.
Apartment manager: We’ll have to remodel anyway. He’s been here so long that we remodeled around him. We didn’t want to displace him.
Policeman: Well, it’s pretty clean anyway. Although when we moved his body, it burst.

An old apartment building in Elliot Park
Overheard by Max.

Policeman at scene of old man’s death: So, do we know if he had any next of kin?
Second Policeman: Not yet. Do you want to see the dead guy?
Policeman: (Thinks for a moment, shrugs.) Sure.

An old apartment building in Elliot Park
Overheard by Max.

Lady #1 in bathroom stall Lady #2: I’m a blonde now.
Lady #2: Oh, yeah.
Lady #1: I heard blondes have more fun. I’ll let you know when the divorce is final.

Nordstroms bathroom at MOA
Overheard by Brunettes have fun too!

Girl during evolution lab in biology: So, humans came from monkeys right? So, if two monkeys had a baby and it was a human, like, what would we do with it?

U of M biology lab
Overheard by we would name it tarzan.

Loud obnoxious server to her co-worker: I’m pregnant and my husband calls me “chubbers” now. The other night he was all, like, “HEY CHUBBERS! YOU GONNA COME TO BED OR DO I NEED TO GET A FORKLIFT TO GET YOU OFF OF THE COUCH!?”

Perkins off of Burnsville Parkway
Overheard by I don’t care and neither does anyone else in the restaurant.

Bookstore clerk: Sorry, we’re not buying this book.
Student #1: Looks like we’ve got some firewood.
Student #2: Nooo!  Now we can’t buy weed!  Why???
Student #1: Whatever dude.
Student #2: (distraught) WHY!?

UMN bookstore
Overheard by You could always ask your parents for some money.