Loud white ghetto guy on cellphone: Dude, I’m at target. They don’t got nothing here! Man, I should have gone to Wal*Mart. (pause) Ooh, here’s a sweet knife. Maybe I’ll buy that for shits and giggles.

Crystal Target Camping Isle
Overheard by Gee, you have to wonder what this guy does with his free time…

10-year-old girl: The sky is black, the garbage is blowing out of the garbage cans, we’re gonna get a tornado!
Mom wearing scrubs: No, it’s way up north, it’s not even going to come here.
10-year-old girl: That’s a damn shame! Why don’t we ever get tornadoes?
Mom: I don’t want no tornado!

Midway White Castle
Overheard by twitchy.

Ditz: They should just make cars out of like, cushions.  Then they’d just bounce.  Why don’t they make them like that?
Guy: (long pause) It might be aerodynamics.

Pizza Luce, Uptown
Overheard by the sex ain’t worth it, buddy.

Gradmother (who has been sitting through over 100 names being called at graduation) after a name is called of someone she doesn’t know: YAYYY!
Girl: What are you doing?  Do you know them?
Grandmother: I have an idea!  Lets use a different animal noise after every name that is called!
Girl: Umm…
Dean: Sarah Smith*.
Grandmother: WOOF!

St. Olaf graduation
Overheard by Well, it’s better than clapping.