Mother: I said sit down!
2-year old girl: (smack) BLAH!
Mother: Don’t smack your mother! (smack)
Girl: (smack)
Mother: I said stop! (smack)
Girl: (smack) STAWP!
Mother: (smack) Stop!
Girl: (smack)
Mother: (hard smack) Girl, where did you learn to hit your mother?
Girl: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Bus #16–By Midway
Overheard by I just want to get home…

Drunk girl at a party: I want to be a lawyer because I think three people should be able to marry each other!

A party on the U campus
Overheard by I want to shoot you.

Guy on the bus who sat next to me even though there were plenty of other seats: I am going to go kill somebody today.

On bus 23 to Uptown
Overheard by I wish I had a car.

College girl talking to her group of girlfriends: You know… we’re just like those girls.

After a screening of Mean Girls at Coffman Union
Overheard by I hate these stupid assholes.

Ditsy girl on cell phone really loudly: I’m in line. This is ridiculous, there are, like, 2 cashiers and 1 person in line in front
of me. OMG, did you know they make pineapple poptarts?

Minnehaha/Lake Rainbow
Overheard by The one guy in line.

Guy, discussing Stonehenge documentary with co-worker: Everything I know about Stonehenge, I learned from Spinal Tap.

Office building, Minneapolis
Overheard by Druid.

Overweight child:  Man, am I full.  I sure am fat!
Overweight mother:  Yeah, you are.
(they both laugh)

Shangrila Chinese Buffet
Overheard by trying to enjoy a pot-sticker.

Bike Cop #1: Yeah, when a group of people won’t disperse I just tell them I’m going to mace them and that clears them out right away.
Bike Cop #2: Oh yeah, macing them gets them right out of there. (laughs and imitates the noise of a can of mace being sprayed)
Bike Cop #1: No, I’m saying if you just tell them you’re going to mace them you don’t actually have to.
Bike Cop #2: Oh… yeah.

Critical Mass Bike Ride
Overheard by Anxious member of “crowd”.