Loud cube neighbor: So, she does her drugs and washes her hands. Takes one pill and washes her hands. Takes a pill and washes her hands. Takes another pill and washes her hands..

Corporate cubeland, Eagan
Overheard by thisisnow.

Worker #1: Man, I’m this close to reporting him. I mean, all he does is sit in that office and look at internet porn all day.
Worker #2: Really?! He’s into kiddie porn?
Worker #1: No, INTERNET.
Worker #2: Oh, so… that’s not the same thing?

Outside Northrop Auditorium
Overheard by There’s a whole world of porn out there, little buddy.

Woman to co-worker in the elevator: So he was like, transfer all my calls to my voicemail per Rick’s* request. And I’m like, sure, it’s not like I have anything else to do, YOU FUCKWAD!

Elevator in 225 S. 6th Street Building
Overheard by Haha, fuckwad, good one.

Mom on phone to daughter: No, it’s not cold enough for me to give you a ride home from school. It’s above 0.

next cube over in Mpls.
Overheard by maybe she should fake hypothermia.

Cube dweller #1: I have people all up inside me all the time and they’re just bound to come out sooner or later.
Cube dweller #2: I do too, that’s why I write.
Cube dweller #1: I think we’re talking about two different things here.

Office in Minneapolis
Overheard by I love a good office gangbang as much as the next guy.

Yuppie standing in bus aisle, gripping both overhead handrails: Now I know how Jesus felt.

6A southbound on Hennepin
Overheard by sxoidmal, thinking “More like Picard among the Cardassians.”

Stoner:  I know why there are no dealers in Plymouth!
Not quite a stoner:  Yeah?  Why?
Stoner:  All the streets are curvy, there’s no corners for them!
Not quite a stoner:  Hmmm, yeah, you’re right.

Cooper High School Lunch Room
Overheard by Not a Nerd.

Wife, walking over to where husband is sitting: It really smells farty over here.
Husband: Really? I wish I didn’t have this cold so I could smell and taste better.

Coffee shop in St. Cloud
Overheard by No you don’t.

Guy #1 to Guy #2, each at urinals:  So, I was walking home last night and I saw a dude throw a can onto the ground.  At first I thought, “Hey, pick that up,” but then I saw that it was a can of Surly and I was all like, “Awesome!  I totally made that can!”
Guy #2:  That’s awesome.

Surly Cynic Ale launch party at the CC Club
Overheard by good thing these guys don’t handle nuclear waste.