White cube farmer to same: Chicks don’t like dudes with umbrellas. They like wild and crazy guys who aren’t afraid to get their hair wet.

Metrodome Promenade
Overheard by Alexis

My mother, to two black teenage boys with long braided hair: Could you ladies step back from the railing so the people behind you can see the game?

Metrodome
Overheard by One very embarrassed Alexis.

Girl talking loudly on cellphone: …and OMG I saw a black guy run into a door. And it was really funny, because he did the whole ‘I’m black and I overreact to everything to make up for years of oppression against the African race thing’. I laughed SO hard.

Domino’s in Anoka
Overheard by can i get a hell yeah.

Guy #1: So, did you find out where we could find some bait?
Guy #2: No, there was some girl working there.
Guy #3: So?  Some girls like to fish.
Guy #2: She’s also black.
Guy #1 & #3 (simultaneously): Oh.

Downtown
Overheard by You’ve got to be shitting me.

Gorgeous college age girl to her family (obviously on their way to the Twins game): So, she, like, wrote on my wall! And I was like, ‘What!?!’ And she was like, ‘Well?’

Punch Pizza patio
Overheard by look, don’t listen.

Co-worker #1: I hear we’re supposed to get tornado weather tonight.
Co-worker #2: Yeah, late this evening.
Co-worker #1: No, I mean here. (while we’re at work)
Co-worker #2: Oh.
Co-worker #3: They should send us home, so we can get a nap before we all die.

Medica
Overheard by El duce.

Teen boy: You know, I really appreciate you complimenting my baseball skills, but I really don’t appreciate you complimenting my boxer choices.

South High Locker Room
Overheard by just trying to get to class…