Sean John Clad, Pat Williams Looking Dude: He sold that shit for 10 million dollars?
2X White T, Yankee Designer Hat Wearin’ Dude: Ya.
Sean John Clad, Pat Williams Looking Dude: Man, I’d kill myself for 10 million dollars!

Lake Calhoun (Thomas Beach Parking Lot)
Overheard by Dale Smoker.

Dude: I’m not eating tomatoes anymore.  Because of the Somali outbreak.

Leaning Tower
Overheard by I never ate ‘em anyways.

Senior Boy: I HAVE NO CAPACITY FOR PORN!

Wayzata High School Senior Party
Overheard by I doubt that…

Motivated twenties-something to her friend: Well, yeah, all I have to say is that these single guys better watch out.  [pause] Ah hell, the married guys better watch out, too.

Downtown wedding reception
Overheard by a cousin of the bride.

Woman on cell phone: Not to be Captain Obvious on this one, but maybe the first sign that you should not have gone home with the guy was that he pretty much thought your name was “hot girl”. And of course the second sign could have been that he was wearing a fuzzy hat in the shape of a cooked turkey.

Caribou Coffee in Eden Prairie

Guy #1: You can’t molest the elderly.
Guy #2: But they can molest you.
Girl: I know, and I love it when they do.

Gustavus Adolphus College, St. Peter, Olin Hall
Overheard by if your employer heard you say that…

Middle-aged white guy, talking to another middle-aged white guy: People will find reasons to be discriminated against.

Cargill Office Center
Overheard by Let Me Know What You Come Up With.

Bud Pitcher Drinker Guy #1: I can’t wait to smoke a doobie, and then play with myself!
Bud Pitcher Drinker Guy #2: Shhhhhh!!!

Green Mill
Overheard by Their Server.