Guy outside of dressing room: Dude, what are you doing?
Guy in dressing room: I’m having some me time.
Guy outside of dressing room: I’m bored. (thinks about it for several seconds) I’ll be looking at belts.
Guy in dressing room: I’ll be looking at me.

Southdale J.C. Penney dressing rooms
Overheard by Business Casual.

White boy on crutches, loudly to sassy Latina girl: Is it because I am white?!

House party on the west side of St Paul
Overheard by whitegirl.

Female co-worker: Once you’ve had Sonic… mmmmm!!

Office in Coon Rapids
Overheard by Wow, get out more.

Rough-looking druggie #1: Yeah, when my ex-girlfriend would get high on meth, she’d bend-over right in the room in front of everybody.
Rough-looking druggie #2: Ha! You should’ve smacked her ass!
Rough-looking druggie #1: Well, she liked it in the ass, it wouldn’t have worked. (pause) Mmm… she’d wear those white pants with no underwear.

10 bus heading downtown
Overheard by Did not need the image in my head before class.

Mother to daughter: I wanted to like yogurt growing up, but I hated it. I just kept trying to like it, but I had to eat it over the toilet because I just kept puking it up.

Rainbow Foods, Apple Valley, MN
Overheard by Melissa.

Overly excited office worker #1: That’s a REALLY cool Sharpie!!!!!!
(moments later)
Overly excited office worker #2: I’m just sitting here fondling my Sharpie.

225 S. 6th Street, 12th floor
Overheard by Sounds like you might be sniffing it…

Little guy in shopping cart: Mom, what are fish sticks made of?
Tired Momma: Fish. You know, the inside part.
Little Guy: Is the insides meat?
Tired Momma: Huh-uh.
(15 seconds elapse)
Little Guy: (GASP!) Are the insides of people meat?
Tired Mom: I guess so.
Little Guy: Okay, just don’t buy people sticks, mom. I won’t eat ‘em.

Super Target in Roseville
Overheard by Another Tired Momma.

Ten year old boy to forty year old grandma: What’s the biggest animal in the world?
Grandma: I don’t know. What?
Boy: You have to guess.
Grandma: I don’t know. A gorilla.
Boy: No! It lives in the ocean.
Grandma: I don’t know what lives in the ocean.
Boy: A blue whale.
Grandma: Oh. How big is it?
Boy: Bigger than this building. I thought you were gonna say elephant. That’s what everyone else thinks.
Grandma: I thought maybe elephant. I don’t know. King Kong be huge.

Counselor’s office in an Anoka office building
Overheard by What about No Grandmas left behind?

Father to his three year old daughter after she took her shirt off: Just like your mother.

Cereal Aisle, Cub Foods
Overheard by is that how you met her?