Blonde: It’s so hot in here, I’m all sweaty.
Brunette: I think I’m going to need my turtle.

IKEA
Overheard by that’s not going to solve your problem.

Coworker #1 about Coworker #2: Married man smelling good, that’s not right. (pause) Something’s going on.

Office, Minneapolis warehouse district
Overheard by That cologne doesn’t smell good, so there’s no danger.

Guy in mailroom to coworker: I have extra arms, if you need one.

225 S. 6th street, 12th floor
Overheard by Vishnu.

Mid 30’s Female on cell phone: …Yeah, and SHE calls ME the bad friend. She sent me this email telling me that I need help, that I am some type of alcoholic, and my life is like falling apart, and that no one can handle being around me, and that if I don’t STOP my bad behavior that she doesn’t want to be friends any more. What a bitch. She thinks I am a bad friend and says all I ever want to do is go out and get drunk and use her as my sober cab and she has to babysit me.  Do you BELIEVE that? Just cuz she is married and has her perfect little life doesn’t mean that I should change.

Waiting to cross the street, Uptown
Overheard by No, actually it means you should grow up!

Dad: Let’s get some Gatorade.
Son, six or seven years old: YAY, GATORADE! I call pink!
Dad: Pink? What do you mean pink, you pansy?

Washington Avenue, close to Metrodome
Overheard by Not cool, Dad.

Blonde Woman to Brunette Woman: I looked in the goodie bag and she gave me a package of Hello Kitty Band-Aids with a note that said ‘These are for your drunk owies.’

Kohls, Eden Prairie Center
Overheard by D.R.B.

Little boy playing with Legos: Look, I have a gun and two hookers!

Playground, St Paul
Overheard by Nanny in St. Paul.