Octogenarian sitting behind me: Well, she had a shitty attitude, and I thought the Germans were bad!

Padelford Riverboat Tour in St. Paul.
Overheard by Old people are hilarious.

Man on cell phone talking to a woman he contacted while incarcerated: Every woman I’ve had a child with I’ve been in a relationship with.

Lightrail to MOA
Overheard by Entertained.

Guy to group of other guys: I heard she once open-mouth kissed a horse.

Concordia College in St. Paul
Overheard by Walking down the hall.

Dad:  Put the dog down, let him walk.
Mom:  I don’t want Paulie to walk.
Kid: *sounding tired* Can I have a drink now?
Mom:  Yes, because Paulie’s thirsty too.  *long pause*  Not because Paulie’s more important than you…

Stone Arch Festival
Overheard by Gracen.