U of M Student: Who do I have to sleep with around here to get some grants?

Tin Man - U of M
Overheard by Probably someone at One-Stop

Homeless man who obviously doesn’t know he’s in a gay bar: There are no girls up in here tonight!

The Saloon
Overheard by I’m biting my tongue so hard trying not to laugh.

Checkout lady while ringing up melamine lunch trays: We have these! My kids love ‘em. They like to pretend they are in jail. Give me some of that slop, mom!

Burnsville Target
Overheard by your mom.

Lonely 20-something guy: I just want a girlfriend. I don’t care if she’s super fat or has, like, two noses.

Chaska basketball court
Overheard by three nostrils.

Employee: Who’s responsible for making sure Mike’s ass doesn’t bleed all over the passenger seat?

Chanhassen office
Overheard by nasty president taft.

A very distraught, older lady walking with her bored-looking husband: I don’t know. He calls it emo.

MOA
Overheard by Man on a Mission.

Bored girl with many facial piercings: I don’t think I’m on friends terms with Frank anymore. After Convergence, he deleted me off of his MySpace top eight. There aren’t even any real people on there. It’s all just cartoon characters.
Guy: Cartoon characters?
Bored girl: Transformers or some shit. All of his friends are Transformers.

Loring Pasta Bar, Dinkytown
Overheard by whoops for you.

Mid 20’s Guy #1: I think I hate bike cops more than regular cops!!!
Mid 20’s Guy #2: I don’t know, I think hate all cops the same.

Outside Sneaky Pete’s
Overheard by You Too.

Grungy guy to random woman: I’m the gayest.
Woman: Uh-huh.
Guy: That’s what I call myself “the Gayest.”
Woman: Uh… neat?
Guy: Right now I’m going to go get me a rainbow belt, and then I’m gonna get a tattoo of a rainbow that leads to a pot of gold. But instead of gold, it will be Skittles and it will say “taste the rainbow.”

12 bus in uptown
Overheard by …what does that even mean?

Underage girl:  So, how old are you then?  Eighteen?
20-year old man:  I’m actually 20.
Underage girl [warily]: Ohhhh…
20-year old man: Is that okay?

Twins vs. Sox
Overheard by these two had the best conversations all night.

Guy #1: Dude, I just say two guys kissing in front of Burger King.
Guy #2: Ick, that’s gross.
Guy #3: That’s pretty damn gay.

US Bank Plaza
Overheard by It’s Obvious.

25-year old girl playing loud music for guests: Hey crazy kids, any requests?
Angry old neighbor pops his head over the fence: I’ve got a request for you.  It’s called turn that shit off!

Backyard BBQ, Uptown around 9pm
Overheard by wild turkey attack.

Crazy guy to random stranger and her kids: You know what I see? I see three beautiful women.
Woman, slightly annoyed: This one’s a boy.
Crazy guy: Really? You need a haircut. So, you’re a boy, huh?
Androgynous little boy: Bah! (tries to punch crazy man)
Crazy guy: I guess he just wants to be left alone.

The 67 in Saint Paul
Overheard by I bet you get that a lot.

Male Walmart employee, to female co-worker: Come on, what’s your problem?  Smile!  (smiles at her)
Female co-worker: I can’t smile.  I work HERE.

Walmart Austin MN
Overheard by: a.lil

Guy #1: You smell like urine.
Guy #2: GOOD!

28th Avenue park and ride
Overheard by Time for a shower?

Stereotypical Family Man with Mini-Van: Brendan finished all of his milk!
Stereotypical Soccer Mom next to him: Three cheers for Brendan!!!
Brendan’s little brother, Mom, and Dad: Hip Hip Hooray!!! Hip Hip Hooray!!!

Tiny Neighborhood Cafe in St Paul
Overheard by Girl behind the counter.

Guy who brought back shots to the table at friend’s birthday party: Saddle up and take this shot!
Birthday Boy:  Red-headed sluts!  My wish did come true!

Lakeville, MN
Overheard by Birthday Boy’s girlfriend.

Older woman on phone: Stacy is in jail right now, but she’ll be into work a little later.

Duluth
Overheard by O_o.

21 year old girl: To talk to girls, you just have to compliment them on something that couldn’t be construed as offensive, like an accessory.
Stringy haired disgruntled looking boy: Like hey, nice Barrett, huh huh, nice eyes, I like your eyes. Uh yeah.
21 year old girl: You don’t want a girlfriend; you just wanna get laid.

On the 2 bus

Woman to friend: What’s a gold medal flour?

Near Stone Arch Bridge, after Aquatennial fireworks
Overheard by T-Lo.