Man in his 40s, talking to a friend who’s fixing his bike: So I was like, “If I paid $140, I expect to get pussy!”

Loring Park Greenway
Overheard by Heading to the animal shelter now.

Big black guy: I don’t care if my woman is black, blue, or green as long as she has some ass n’ titties I am bangin’.

bus 16, downtown Minneapolis
Overheard by sitting next to Mr. Colorblind.

Call center girl to coworker who just hung up from a call with a client: Did he tell you he was going to come over here and rub one off?

The Office in Lakeville
Overheard by Keep him away from my potato salad.

Screaming 8-year old girl: I wanna go on another ride!!
Her Mother (wearily): Come on, I just want to get out of this place.

Nickelodeon Park at the MOA
Overheard by Please take me with you.

Co-worker #1: Our courageous leader tells me our people have fallen on hard times and though the metaphorical rain may fall, our perseverance will prevail and triumph will soon be ours.
Co-worker #2: Weird, dude.  Hey, wanna order Jimmy Johns with me?

Eden Prairie cube farm
Overheard by co-worker 3.

Drunk man to girlfriend: So, it’s like swiss cheese, okay? All the women I’ve ever slept with are like swiss cheese.

Uptown
Overheard by wow, where do you pick up girls?