Man with American flag sticking out of his backpack: It’s against the law to eat on the bus, isn’t that right, driver?
Bus Driver: Are you serious?
Man: Yeah, I’m serious!
Woman with drink: I’ll spill this drink all over that chair and make you sit your ass on it!

16 Bus into downtown

20 yr old in bathroom stall: Hey! There’s a rainbow in the toilet!

Ridgedale Target Bathroom
Overheard by Was there a pot of gold too?

White suburban boy trying to be gangsta: Did you see that cat?!
Suburban gangsta friend: That was a DOG, dumbass!!!

Excelsior fireworks
Overheard by you can’t be gangsta in downtown excelsior.

Old Man startled by very loud fire engine horn: I think I blew my hearing aid and shit my pants.

Eveleth, MN Parade
Overheard by Also sludged my bottom.

Teen, emphatically desperate to convince her friends: He wasn’t lying!! It was on Facebook!!

Excelsior 4th of July fireworks
Overheard by The Usher.

Extremely intoxicated old man wearing a Vietnam vet hat: The truth always prevails, even when you lie about it.
Young creeped out girl sitting next to him: Dude, get away from me!

Joe and Stans bar Saint Paul
Overheard by Bar Patron.

Lady: Ooo!!! ICE CREAM!! Ohh, wait that’s just potato salad.

WalMart
Overheard by Potato Salad is good too!

Woman: So, now they’re testing for incest.

Baseball Field in Chanhassen

Old Guy #1: Dude, wanna smoke some killer pot?
Old Guy #2: Fuck yeah, you got any?

At a BBQ attended by mostly twenty somethings at noon in Saint Paul
Overheard by atendee of BBQ.

Young yuppie kid at urinal: Dude, I wish there was a privacy wall between these urinals?
Middle aged Biker at next urinal: Why, you got a small dick?

A hole in the wall Bar in Saint Paul
Overheard by Guy in the stall.

20-something girl, to teenage sister who put car key in her mouth: What’s with you eating the key?
Teenage girl: It tastes good, like iron.  I like licking blood because it tastes the same way.

post-fireworks, downtown Stillwater
Overheard by: Stroller Dad

Girl: Good luck with that. You’ll end up with barbed wire embedded in your genitals if you go there on foot. And I’ll say I told you so.

Hidden Beach

Guy #1: I’m over this. Let’s go to my place, pop some pills and watch infomercials.
Guy #2: Do you have A/C?
Guy #1: Huh?
Guy #2: A/C?
Guy #1: What’s that?
Guy #2: Air conditioning, dude!
Guy #1: Why the hell didn’t you just say air conditioning? You’re so lazy you gotta abbreviate it?

Hidden Beach

Kid (as fireworks started, ON JULY 4TH):  Wow, kind of reminds me of July 4th.  Like deja vu.  Weird.

Eagan fireworks
Overheard by What day is it again?

Jittery teen after 20 minutes of fireworks: Alright, that’s it. My ADHD is setting in.
Friend: Uhh… you can’t have ADHD during fireworks!!

Delano fireworks
Overheard by I know a doctor who would disagree.

Belligerent farmer during fireworks: This is what it sounded like when Junior shot his first deer. BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!

Annandale fireworks
Overheard by not BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!