Middle aged black woman with her grandchildren at 11:30am on a Sunday: I just took the kids out to breakfast and now I need to go home and have me a Jack Daniels.

Southtown Target

Girl #1: Whenever I drink, my kidney hurts the next day.
Girl #2: Um, maybe you shouldn’t drink so much.

In the Sheraton lobby during Convergence

Woman pointing to a dress: That’s nice and flowy. Not for me, but totally something Christine would wear.
Friend, indifferent: Oh yeah, Christine.
Woman: She throws up her food though.
Friend, trailing off: Oh yeah, that’s right.

Arden B Store, MOA
Overheard by Alexis.

Really loud girl: I forgot to take it for, like, four days.
Equally loud gay friend: Oh, just take four tonight.
Really loud girl: Maybe I’ll just wait a week and then start it over.
Friend (suggestively): Oh yeah, you can always do other stuff.

Excelsior fireworks
Overheard by and then they discussed the “other stuff”.

Ghetto girl from backseat of a friends car at McDonald’s drive-thru yelling at the worker: All I wanted was normal ass cheese on my McChicken! Where is my normal ass piece of cheese?

Burnsville
Overheard by It was funny till he screwed up my order too.

Woman using ATM (to nobody in particular): Syphilis! Syphilis! Syphilis! Syphilis!

Taste of MN

Father: Wow, those clouds look neat.
Daughter: Yeah, they do! Like mushroom clouds after a bomb goes off.
Father: Uhh, sure.
Daughter: It’s a terrible thing what happened during WWII, but mushroom clouds are so beautiful. Sometimes beauty comes from catastrophes.

Taste of Minnesota
Overheard by uhhh…

Teen girl on cell phone: …cuz you’re not a lesbian fan, and I like lesbians. They’re funny.

18 bus
Overheard by um…

Meth looking guy to female: OH MY GOD, you HAVE to be kidding. You have to wait in LINE to get some food!? Are you kidding?
Female, looking confused: Umm, apparently a lot of people are hungry, hence the line. That’s what happens. Lines form when there is demand for something.
Meth looking guy as he walks away: Well, that’s just bullshit, I am complaining to management.
Female to her boyfriend: I cannot believe I am frickin’ related to that freak. How can he not understand the concept of lines? My grandparents totally had to of dropped him on his head, like, 100 times.

Grand Casino
Overheard by Good reason NOT to use Meth!

Tall, thin, young executive:  So, what are you getting her?
Short, thin, young executive:  I was talking to some of my friends about beer.
Tall, thin, young executive: Dude, I wouldn’t get her beer.
Short, thin, young executive: I got her Blue Moon.
Tall, thin, young executive: Well, that’s that’s one of your better choices.

Brueggers
Overheard by Listen to the Tall Guy.

20-something cashier #1:  So, what’s up with the 4th of July? Why are we celebrating?
20-something cashier #2:  Are you serious?
20-something cashier #1:  Yeah, what’s up with the 4th of July?
20-something cashier #2:  Uh, it’s our nation’s independence… you know, Independence Day?
20-something cashier #1:  Oh, I didn’t know that.
20-something cashier #2:  (shaking head)  Wow.

Gas station in Uptown
Overheard by Wow is right.  I’m scared for America.

Teenager to dad: Are the pilots professionals?

Boarding a NWA flight from Mpls to Vegas
Overheard by Samantha.

Mother to pre-teen girl carrying her little sister on her back: I hope she doesn’t pee on your back

Target-Midway
Overheard by I hope so too.

7yr old boy:  When are we going to go?  I wanna go, when are we going to go?  How long until we go?
Weary nanny, sighing: I don’t know.  Stop worrying about it.  Let’s just live in the moment.
7yr old boy:  But I don’t want to live in the moment.  I’m tired of living in the moment.

MIA
Overheard by You and me both, kid.