Somewhat Self-Important Woman: I didn’t grow up with your values, you know, be Minnesota nice, get a job and be productive. No, my values where I grew up were that you had to be really smart, you had to do a lot of drugs, and you had to have orgasms. But if you don’t know what they are, don’t worry, honey.

Gingko Cafe, St. Paul
Overheard by i hope it was a first date.

Crazed 20 something male chasing after crazed 20 something female: Mallory! You don’t have to touch it. But if you do, nothing bad will happen!!

Sculpture Garden, Minneapolis
Overheard by …touch what?

Elementary aged boy: I love the Wild and hockey is my favorite sport!!!!!
Little brother: Ok, but you are really bad at it.

the Freedom station in Mahtomedi
Overheard by HEY-OH!

“Gangsta” black man on cellphone: But I wanna spend money! I wanna be Italian and spend money!

Coffman Union, UMN
Overheard by isn’t Italian, but doesn’t mind.

Pre-teen to his rowdy friends: Yeah, ’cause Sandburg grass rocks!

Cooper High Summer School/Activities
Overheard by Well, I once went there… Glad to see there are still no complaints about the greenery.

Drunk Guy: You guys have a very limited burrito selection.
Clerk: Oh, well, why do you say that?
Drunk Guy: All you have is breakfast burritos. (pause) I think I have STDs.
Clerk: Why do you say that?
Drunk Guy: ‘Cause my penis hurts. (walks out)

Holiday on Broadway in Forest Lake
Overheard by Stay away from my burritos…

Older woman: Now that the fireworks have started, they’re probably having crazy sex in the port-a-potties!!

Bloomington Summer Fete
Overheard by pocavontas.