Man talking to girlfriend: I’m not controlling, but when I say shut up, bitch, you shut up!

South Bound Metro Transit #4
Overheard by Someone who knows a bad relationship when they see one.

Girl in purple 80s prom dress, after dancing partner dips her and hitting her head on a chair: Omigod ow! (rubs the back of her head.)
Guy in plain attire: You ok?
Girl: (slurring) I don’t even know!
Guy grabs girl and they keep grinding and making out.

The Shout House in Block E
Overheard by I hope the sex was worth the concussion.

Sleazy Bald Guy posting Church of Scientology ads on the stoplights: Yeah, we’re gonna post all up Lake Street tonight because there will be tons of people out. F*#%in’ great night to get our message out. (Waves two friends across the street on a Don’t Walk signal) Let’s cross.

Lagoon & Hennepin in Uptown
Overheard by What a Great F*#%in’ Message!

Girl #1: Even though he has no chance of winning, I think that Mark will still vote for Ron Paul.
Girl #2: What? The porn star?

Picosa Patio
Overheard by um, just because they both have first names as last names…

Poet: I’m sorry, he’s busy with his annual autopsy.

The Loft
Overheard by Garage girl #1.

Young women to friend: Wait, the Amazon River is real?
Friend: {blank stare}

Corner of 1st Avenue and 6th Street, Downtown
Overheard by surprise!

MetroMan talking loudly and angrily on cell phone: I am a VIRGO, and she’s a Scorpio. If she thinks she can STING THIS VIRGO she’s got another thing coming!

LynLake restaurant Patio
Overheard by Poison.

Young adolescent boy #1: Hey, remember the days when we didn’t wanna get with girls and thought they had cooties?
Young adolescent boy #2: Yeah. I mean, I never thought that myself but a lot of people our age did.
Much younger boy, probably about 9: Yeah, I totally remember those days.

Hiawatha Park, Minneapolis
Overheard by those were the days.

Ditzy blonde cashier to mechanic: He was the one that screwed it up. I feel bad for him and not just because he is new. He’s also Mexican.
No where near as ditzy cashier: What?!
Ditzy Blonde cashier: No! That’s not what I meant! The language barrier! His limited vocabulary! Damnit!

John’s Auto Parts, Blaine
Overheard by There’s no saving that, Sis.