College girl: What’s in a gyro?
College boy: Lamb’s meat.
College girl: Lamb’s meat. Is that like pork chops?

House party Dinkytown
Overheard by t.ro.

College girl: Is a hernia where your intestines come out of your poophole?

House party Dinkytown

Target meat guy knowingly to another Target guy: I wanna… MASH your potatoes.

Plymouth Target
Overheard by If that’s not an euphemism, I don’t know what is.

Girl pleading her case while her friend stood by in silent fury: Jenny, I’m sorry but you can’t be mad at me for what I don’t know. And I didn’t see you sitting there! Jenny, you know I pride myself on being a good friend. I just didn’t see you sitting there. So, you can’t be mad at me. Jenny, I didn’t know!

Outside Park Tavern bowling alley
Overheard by three people who think that girl totally sat on jenny.

Spunky tech-guy with mega-gel-spiked hair answering his phone: Douche-bags-say-what? [brief pause] What?

Office building, Warehouse district
Overheard by you sure got him.

Girl, to neighbor regarding one their dogs wearing a shock collar: Lady, is your dog on house arrest?

West Side in St. Paul
Overheard by Buttercup.

4-year-old girl eating yogurt: Wow, it’s really quiet in here.
Dad: That’s because you’re eating.

Starbucks
Overheard by muzzle your children please.

Woman to companion while waiting for bus: So, it was really lucky that grandma died on Christmas, because we just drove down and went from there. otherwise, we would have had to drive down twice.

Downtown bus stop
Overheard by …you’re kind of a bitch.

Loud, angry black man: Shit, don’t talk to me about no “African American.” I’m a black American. I ain’t no “African” American; I’m a black American. Africans hate you, black man. They hate you.
Slightly amused African American man: Man, let me give you a history lesson. Liberia…
Angry black man: Man, fuck your history lesson! I don’t need a damn history lesson. I know all about Liberia. I know all about the Nation of Islam. Liberians, Somalis, Egyptians, they’re all the same: they hate you. They don’t want anything to do with you. You can’t talk to their women, but they can talk to yours. African American… shit, I’m a black American!
African American man: It is way too early for this shit.

16 on Washington, 4:30 a.m.
Overheard by Yes, yes it is way too early for this shit.