14 year old: Dude, have you seen the new Batman movie?
Friend: Yeah, on Friday.
14 year old: You loser! (pauses) Was it awesome?
Friend: Yes.

Lakeville Theatre

Girl to friends: I always win though… and it’s pretty easy. I just hit him until he takes it off.

Lake Street Extension
Overheard by disturbed onlooker.

Crowd of teenage girls galloping forward with sticks and fists in the air: FOR NARNIA!!!!

Hopkins High School
Overheard by who knew early morning cross country practice could be this much fun?

Elementary school girl to sister:  Have you ever sat on really hot bleachers?  If so, try my new Anus Sack!  Just add ice to the pouch and sit for instant cooling!  I also attached some silverware, some scissors, some glue, some oats, some floss, some tapioca pudding, a pack of flashcards, a pencil, and some Children’s Motrin. You know… just in case.

Minnetonka Mills Dunn Bros.
Overheard by i’d buy that.

Girl #1: I want her face.
Girl #2: I want her boobs!
Girl #3: I want her CROTCH!
Girls #1 and 2: No, I want the crotch!!
Girl #3 (solemnly): Alright.  We’ll have to split the crotch three ways.

Minnetonka neighborhood
Overheard by hmm…

Drunk man: Holy Jesus on methamphetamine!  My secret is… hmm… I wet myself.  (Giggles)  All over; very messy.  No survivors.

Target
Overheard by Momo.

Very drunk and trendy girl, slurring to her two friends who were previously helping her stand: No, I work for the fire department, you guys, we’re getting a ride back on that! (Points to the fire truck in the road and starts to stagger towards it)

Block E
Overheard by Shannon.

Girl holding a PBR tallboy in one hand and a cigarette in the other: Other than drinking and smoking, I’m pretty much straightedge.

Bastille Day
Overheard by Other than the heroin… me too.