Lady in her late 20’s to male companion: Where is my list of ugly people?

Namaste cafe, Minneapolis
Overheard by someone who would like to read that list.

Teen Girl #1: Yeah, sometimes my, like, face spasms.
Teen Girl #2: My eye sometimes does that.

Outside Madeline Rose in Burnsville
Overheard by You had me at spasm.

Shirtless guy riding bike (apparently to himself): Dirty girls like to get naughty, too.  Right?

Washington Ave Bridge, U of M
Overheard by ristee.

Mom half laughing to tweenager girl: You, stop calling people crack heads. (Then to toddler) And you, stop saying crack! That’s awful!

Midtown Target
Overheard by Taking my break at the table next to theirs.

Teenage boy (surrounded by girls and there’s an awkward silence): So, do you guys play the Penis Game?

Guthrie Theater
Overheard by No, I don’t.

Woman behind the counter: A47.
Woman waiting: 47? What about 49? They’re just mixing up all these numbers!

Social Security Office on Chicago
Overheard by But i’m 48!

Creepy 70-year old man: And they were just the most beautiful ten-year old Hawaiian boys ever. And the long, flowing black hair, oh, it was just breath-taking.

Ikea children’s department
Overheard by concerned for Hawaiians.

20-something guy: That’s why Mickey Mantle died; he had no livers.

Apartment pool in St. Louis Park
Overheard by livers to spare.

Mom, to preteen son: If you don’t straighten up your act, I’m sending you back to school with all Hannah Montana notebooks!

Roseville Target
Overheard by That’ll teach him

Man: There’s nothing on this earth like hugging a chubby woman.
Girl: Dad, please.  Stop.
Man: Whaaaat? You know I still got it in me!

Yum! Kitchen and Bakery
Overheard by i’m pretty sure the chubby woman heard you…