Fat guy: *moan*
Woman: You alright?
Fat guy: I just feel…
Woman: Yeah?
Fat guy: I feel fat this morning.
Woman: Well, you shoulda eaten something. You should eat more!

#16, Eastbound
Overheard by ORLY.

Man checking in to upscale hotel to female front desk attendant: Checking in under Jane Johnson, she had to go take a leak.
Front desk attendant: I don’t see a reservation under Johnson.  Is there a different last name it could be under?
Man: No, we just made it online.
Front desk attendant: Do you have your confirmation number?
Man (vaguely): 5, 6, 9, dah dah dah dah dah…
Front desk attendant: You can use the computer in the business center to check the reservation if you’d like.
Man, a minute later after checking at business center: Check under Smith.  John Smith.
Front desk attendant: Yes sir, we do have that reservation.
Man: I didn’t think it would be under my name.

The Westin Minneapolis
Overheard by Even when she asked if there was another last name it could have been under?

Man walking down 3rd Ave wearing a backpack: I’m just takin’ a walk after work so I don’t blow!

3rd Avenue and Franklin
Overheard by I’m rollin up my window!

Middle-aged women on cell phone: So, you know that rash I have? Well, I went to the Doctor and he was like, ‘Good luck!’ (Laughs) I know, I told him I wanted my co-pay back!

Saint Paul Saint’s Game
Overheard by Shouldn’t you be more worried about the rash?!

Random worker #1: I went to the doctor the other day and they made me pay 10% of my bill up front; it was like 70 dollars!
Random worker #2: Whoa, that’s a lot of money. What was 100% of the bill then?

Plymouth
Overheard by Me.

Teenage farmer girl in sheep pen to group of teenage boys: I’m in with the sheep because I’m cool. (pause) So, what are your names, hot stuffs?

Carver County Fair
Overheard by Innocent bystander.

Man: I don’t know why Brett Favre wants to keep playing football; he already has 3 Emmys.

21
Overheard by LB.

Older Somali Woman: I can’t believe that we have to watch Fox News while at the gas station.
Younger Somali Woman: I know. It should be  MTV.

West Bank Gas Station
Overheard by Fox News seems oddly appropriate.

Meathead: There won’t be any strippers?
Meathead’s lady-friend: Lumberjack strippers!!

Loring Pasta Bar
Overheard by Weekend at the cabin, anyone?

One disgruntled employee to another after a seemingly comfortable silence: Seriously, though, how many years do you think I would have to serve if I burnt down the building?

Golden Valley, MN
Overheard by warn me to call in that day.

Angry woman screaming at baby daddy: Don’t answer that! You busy talkin’ to ME! I SAID DON’T ANSWER THAT! (grabs phone from baby daddy’s hand) Bitch! He’s busy! (pause) You KNOW I break out when I get my eyeeebrowwws waxed!

On the street in North Minneapolis
Overheard by Feels sorry for that baby…