Bartender while making drinks for two drunk guys: All the ice is melting so I’m having some trouble.
Drunk guy: That’s all right, I don’t need any more ice, I’m not interested in it.
(Apparently) Drunker Guy: I’m totally interested in where it’s been and where it’s going.

Minnetonka, The Boathouse
Overheard by WTF does that even mean dude?!

Male wedding-goer to female wedding goer: Oh you guys work here? Excellent. My sisters husband, oh I mean my brother-in-law, sells semen. Bull semen.

St Paul, Wedding
Overheard by Best Pickup Line Ever.

Drunk guy to drunk girl he is on a date with: So wait, you want us to be in an anonymous relationship???

Minneapolis, Acme Comedy Club
Overheard by justarrivedtothebarsober.

Guy on bike to random guy: Hey, do you know where Saint Pedophilia is?
Random guy: Where?
Guy on bike: Saint Pedophilia. It’s a Catholic Church by Saint Thomas where the priests molest little boys and turn them into homosexuals. (bikes away)
Random guy (stunned): What the fuck was that?

Minneapolis, Marquette and 5th
Overheard by well that was odd.

Girl #1 in dressing room: I just don’t want to clash with his style, you know?
Girl #2 in same dressing room, loudly: What, crackhead?
Fitting room attendant: GIRLS, ONLY ONE PERSON IN A FITTING ROOM AT A TIME.

Mall of America Forever 21
Overheard by Dressing Room #16.

20-something woman talking on cell phone, looking perplexed and bewildered in front of diaper aisle: What size did she need?  Is there a certain brand?  I don’t see that kind.  How big of a pack?  There aren’t any less than 30.
(pause) Yeah, I am not ready to be having kids any time soon.

Blaine Super Target
Overheard by hibbet.

African American grandmother with cane crawling out of the back seat of a hatchback with 4 grandchildren of various ages: Well, put some cologne on, you stank!

St. Paul, Target Midway
Overheard by BikingSmellsBetter.

Woman walking in, looking at the “tagging” on the door: Looks like Chinese to me!

Minneapolis, Minnehaha Post Office
Overheard by Too much Olympic fever.