Drunk Guy: I would totally crawl inside her like a ton ton on planet Hoth!

Twins Game
Overheard by Bewildered friend.

Extremely upset woman on cell phone: You’re a redundant, ignorant, ghetto, naive bitch.  It is what it is.  You probably don’t even know the meaning of half those words!

Southbound LRT train
Overheard by Burrhead.

Girl: Sure, I’ll go to the Deuce-Deuce with you, but we have to talk about the ground rules first.
Boy: Let me guess, no touching, no looking, no smiling?
Girl: No! Well, sort of…
Boy: Ummm, this sounds like a bad idea.

Anoka, Graco
Overheard by you’re not kidding.

Pre-teen boy shopping with female relatives to total stranger outside the dressing rooms: I just want you to know, I’m not gay.

MOA
Overheard by I’m not here by choice, either.

Total Fucker On His Cell: Shut up, Grandma! Your fridge isn’t that heavy!

Outside Southdale Mall
Overheard by At least I’m nice to my grandma.

Mom to seven-year-old boy, in line at Subway: What are you going to have?
Boy: BREAD!

St. Louis Park, Subway
Overheard by Good choice.