Customer: I want a medium Razzmatazz.
Jamba Juice employee: All right, would you like a free boost in that?
Customer: Is that free or do I have to pay for it?

Plymouth, Jamba Juice
Overheard by Yeah, I was wondering that myself.

Ditsy CBS girl: You know, sometimes I just like to use my calculator on tests to just make sure I’m right, like 6 times 6 which is 18.
Friend: You mean 12.
Ditsy girl: Yeah, that’s what I meant; 12.

U of M
Overheard by Wow you really need that calculator.

Older lady: You might know my sister Laura?
Checkout lady: OH MY GOSH! I love your sister! She’s great.
Older lady: Yep, that’s her.
Checkout lady: You guys are sisters? You look nothing alike!
Older lady: (laughs) We’re sisters.
Checkout lady: Really? You really don’t look alike; different dads maybe?
(awkward silence)

Minnetonka, Ridgedale Macy’s
Overheard by yikes.

Grandma to grandson: Okay, lets take out your penis. There you go.
Grandson (screeches): I DONT HAVE TO POOP!
Grandma: It’s okay.
Grandson (still screeching): I DONT HAVE TO POOP
Grandma: You don’t have to.
Grandson: I DONT HAVE TO POOP!
Grandma: Okay, well wait here while Grandma goes to the bathroom.

MN State Fair bathroom
Overheard by i would like to poop in peace…

Cashier,  holding up bottle of nail polish teenage girl has just purchased: Would you like a bag for this?
Teenage girl, smiling politely: Yes, please.
Friend standing next to her (completely serious): You don’t need to waste a plastic bag for that, don’t you care about the environment?!
Teenage girl: No, I’m a Republican! *takes bag and walks away*

Maple Grove, Ulta
Overheard by She knows politics better than me…

Male coworker: When I was growing up I wanted to be a male doctor.
Female coworker: Male doctor? You’re a guy, of COURSE you’d be a male doctor.
Male coworker: No, like doctor for males, like a urologist or a proctologist.
Female coworker: Yeah, it’s pretty bad when you’ve got something in your butt.

Lakeville, The Office
Overheard by Male computer programmer.

A young woman: I wonder if my baby would have an accent if I got pregnant in Thailand. (pause) Like an Australian accent.

University of Minnesota
Overheard by I Wonder What She Was Thinking (Or Not).

Typical St. Olaf-looking Girl: Sometimes I’m a ho and sometimes I’m a whore.

Northfield, Contented College on a Hill
Overheard by plaid shirt, no cowboy hat.

Concertgoer on cell phone:  LATER… LATER… I’ve been pissing in a bucket all week!

Target Center
Overheard by Hmmm, what?

Freshman girl #1: I don’t know why I’m still getting hangovers. I drank the last six nights in a row.
Freshman girl #2: Yeah. You’d totally expect your tolerance to be better after that.

U of M Campus
Overheard by maybe she has a little bit too much captain in her.