Old man (to teenage girl): Hey! Hey, you dropped something.
Teenage girl: (stops walking and starts looking around) I don’t see anything. What did I drop?
Old man: You dropped your smile.

Saint Paul, Target
Overheard by meet my new best friend.

Dad on cell phone after son has been gone for about ten minutes: If you can’t figure it out, then you don’t get no water! Bye!

Stillwater, SAHS Homecoming
Overheard by girl sitting in the isle.

Large Man to Young Sales Woman: What’s your biggest size in the polos?
Sales Woman: Our largest size is a triple extra large.
Large Man: All right! That’s what I’m talking about! It’s not like I’m Japanese or anything.

Lacoste Store at the Mall of America
Overheard by you can’t be fat and Japanese?

Ditsy U of M girl to ditsy friend: I like biology because it’s, like, about the study of the body.

U of M Centennial Dinning hall
Overheard by ….I’m scared for my generation running the world.

Metrodome Announcer: Let’s Get It On!
7-year old kid sitting in the row behind me: That’s what she said! (a few minutes later) Man, I could really go for a cigarette.

Metrodome - Twins Game
Overheard by Wha?

African-American man on phone: Well now, you just bring your hair, and you be on your way.

5 northbound, Chicago-Lake
Overheard by serial forgetter of hair.